"IF ONLY"

Hello All! :-)

Saw this link posted on my friend's Facebook page and it is a MUST share! I think anyone who is married or engaged, even if none of the things mentioned apply to you or your spouse, you should take the time to read this, it's short and sweet and very much to the point.

"There are so many things that your marriage can survive. You marriage can survive miscommunication. Your marriage can survive busy schedules. Your marriage can overcome conflict with your in-laws. Your marriage can get through sexual brokenness and unforgiveness. But, there are two words that will eventually bring an end to your marriage…if not legally then definitely emotionally.

The two words are…

…IF ONLY…

If only my wife had sex with me more often
If only my husband looked at me like my boss does
If only we had kids
If only we made more money
If only we lived in a bigger house
If only we would have dated longer
If only she took care of herself like the lady at the gym
If only my high school boyfriend and I would have stayed together
If only we hadn’t had kids so young
If only she understood me
If only he listened to me
If only I knew we were soul mates
If only she cooked more or better
If only he could do things around the house

If only causes you to focus on what isn’t rather than on what is. If only allows your mind to fantasize about someone that isn’t your spouse. If only believes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If only paralyzes us in the pursuit of our spouse and convinces us that a perfect marriage is competently up to the other person. If only will slowly destroy intimacy and leave you in a place of resentment. If only will trick you into believing that the best days of your marriage are behind you and and not ahead of you.

The best thing you can do for your marriage today is remove “if only” from your mind and heart.

You can’t change the past, but you can prevent the past from destroying your future.

Do you struggle with the thought of “if only”?"

To go to the blog of the couple that wrote this post...here is the direct link to the post I just shared...

http://refineus.org/2011/08/2-words/

I'd have to say that I completely agree with this post. Not only can a marriage not tolerate those two words for too long, but individuals alone will eventually begin to fall apart constantly thinking "if only I'd done this or if only I'd done that". I'm often saddened by listening to people (including MYSELF) constantly think about the what ifs and the if onlys instead of focusing on what they have right in front of them. Thankfully, I've become a lot better with doing that to myself. When I was younger, especially in high school, "what if" and "if only" seemed to be making an appearance in vocabulary often, as well as a couple years into my college years, before I started to shape up and realize that I was deserving of everything that I had and that everything happened to me for a reason. I still believe that to my core today. I hope that everyone can see the good in everything that they have right in front of them. I honestly feel that life would be SO boring if we had everything we ever wanted...then was is there to work for?! ;-) I kind of strayed a little off topic, lol, sometimes I just can't help it ;-)

What are your thoughts on this? Please feel free to share! :-) This is a NO JUDGEMENT environment, so please respect that others have different thoughts and opinions to share.

THANKS YOU GUYS! :-) Looking forward to hearing what all your thoughts are :-)

Week 4 - CHECK, 10lbs lost - CHECK!

I. freakin. DID IT!!!!

Weighed in today and....BAM! The number looking back at me on the scale was 194.6lbs...I LOST 10LBS (in 4 weeks)!! I can't believe I've already hit my first bench mark in my weight loss journey!

I can't even begin to explain what I'm feeling and thinking....so much to the point where I'm speechless and this may be the shortest post I ever write! LOL! However, I get to go reward myself with a pedicure today!! :-)

I hope you all are doing amazing with your journey!

Can days be more than 24 hours long??

I swear I'm still alive! LOL!

These past couple weeks since the last time I've blogged have been IN-SANE to say the least. We are literally DAYS from peak season here at the apartment complex and we've been running around like you wouldn't believe just with the few apartments we started turning over...kinda makes me nervous what peak season is gonna do LOL!

Anyways, since my last post I'm at a total weight loss of about 7 pounds, give or take a decimal point! YAY!! I'm working on my 4th week on my new mission and I feel absolutely great about how it's going. For the first time in my life, it seriously doesn't feel like I'm on a diet!!! I have to give all the credit to www.myfitnesspal.com for not making it feel like one. It's a-mazing!

The only thing that I would've changed the past couple weeks is the fact that with it being so busy around here for the apartments, I haven't been keeping up on my walking, which I miss TERRIBLY, and I had a couple soft serve ice cream cones from a local fast food joint a couple times. I never went over my calorie intake...but still could've made a better choice! I finally had to just push myself to go to the store to get my "go to" dessert....whipped topping mixed with a fat free chocolate pudding cup...and you get chocolate mousse! LOVE IT! I could eat it all the time! ;-)

I also found myself falling into the emotional eating problem I used to have but thankfully I put myself in check shortly after I started to. It's been a very dramatic time for us...with so many different emotions that we've been dealing with. Anywhere from family stuff from both families to finding out that Derek only has a YEAR left in school and he will be a COLLEGE GRAD!! AHHH! I so can't wait, I'm so (pardon my french) damn proud of him!! Not only does this man juggle 2 jobs (3 if you count the apartment job), goes to school FULL TIME and manages to still have enough energy to come home and be a family man! I honestly don't know where he gets the strength and energy, but I'm sure glad he does. I've been dreaming about the moment he walks up to get his degree for about a year now and I always get super emotional! It's just going to be a HUGE step for our family. Not to mention that when he graduates, we'll FINALLY get to start looking to move back to our families!!!!! It's been a LONG LONG LONG time coming! I'm just so ready to be back by our families so we can feel like we're apart of them again and so Miss K can be with everyone as much as possible. It will be really weird to leave this place since it's been our home for 7 years next month, but we're ready for another big change. I keep trying not to think of everything we'll have to deal with when the time gets closer...haha...but my mind tends to wonder over that way and I start to freak out a little :-)

Another major reason I'm so ready to get back to my hometown besides my family being the #1 reason...but MY FRIENDS. I miss them DEARLY! I'm just amazed at how well I've been able to keep in touch with them being here for so long and not miss a beat with the ones that mean the most to me. I'm also excited to reconnect with some that I sort of lost touch with over the years but there aren't any hard feelings. JUST. CAN'T. WAIT!

I'm also trying to be a good girl with the whole dieting thing because Derek and I are coming up on our 2nd wedding anniversary...and we WILL eat at our favorite place which is NOT the healthiest hahaha! I'll really have to make sure that I get an extra workout or two in that week to make up for the crappy food consumption ;-)

I really ready to hit the 10lbs loss mark! I get to treat myself to a pedicure and my poor feet need it! This hot weather just dries my skin out so bad and my feet are the first to go!

What are some of your guys' "treats" you do for yourself when you hit a milestone in your weight loss journey?? I'm thinking that this is what I want to do for all of mine...

- - 10 pounds - Pedicure
- - 20 pounds - Donate my hair to "Locks of Love" and get me a new hairdo! :-) My hair is ridiculously long right now!
- - 30 pounds - New running shoes - I might switch this with the 20 pound mark...not sure yet.
- - 40 pounds - (Still not sure what to do here....suggestions??)
- - 50 pounds - Something top secret, a small wardrobe refreshing - either maternity clothes or pre-pregnancy clothes, and of course BABY #2!

For those of you sharing the shame weight loss journey, hope you're doing amazing too!!!

LOTS OF LOVE!

Week 1 - Done and Done

My "official" weigh in for week 1 was today and.........

I LOST 4LBS!!! WOO FREAKIN HOO!!!

I'm am beyond pumped because not only did I lose 3 more extra pounds than I expected but this was all from just eating the right amount of calories I should have been consuming all along! I mean, sure, I did some walking and one cardio workout this week...but I'm always on my feet moving around with the baby so I can't help but believe it just from not over eating :-) 

Your guys' support this week has been amazing and just what I needed! Thank you all SO much! I appreciate it more than you know!

48lbs and 358 days TO GO! :-) 

I think this best describes what you would see if you ran into me today! haha

WINNING!

I know, I referenced Charlie Sheen! TOTALLY couldn't help myself. I watch the videos about him on YouTube all the time and I laugh hysterically. Plus, one of my gal pals, Lynette, and I ALWAYS talk about "winning". We just can't help ourselves! :-)

This has just been an amazing week for me so far! I know you're only suppose to ideally weigh yourself once a week, so you don't get discouraged by multiple weigh ins, with no results (Thank you for looking out for me, Angie!)...but I just couldn't help myself, got on the scale yesterday AND....LOST 2 MORE POUNDS!!!! I am already down 4lbs in 5 days! I know my week may not end on that note...but it's still super exciting! It's amazing what happens when you don't over eat and consume the healthy amount of calories you're meant to!

I also started my first workout program last night with the Biggest Loser 6 week workout series. I did the "low cardio" exercise...and OH. MY. GOSH. it KICKED my butt! LOL! I'm a little intimidated by the more intense cardio one but I know I can do it! For those of you that don't know, Derek and I manage an apartment complex...peak season for apartment turn overs is just around the corner so that means LOTS of notices to post and let's just say I got an unexpected working of 15 mins worth of climbing up and down stairs WOO HOO! LOVING IT!

I'm just so freakin happy/excited/pumped/anxious/hopeful about losing this weight. I've NEVER been like this when it came to losing weight, ever! It's been since high school when I did weight lifting that I was excited to wake up and work out this morning no matter how much it hurt...and boy, oh boy, did it hurt! LOL! I'm almost done with my 1st week, and I couldn't be more happy about it :-)

Losing weight and getting my body back to being healthy is A-MAZING!

One Year, 52lbs

I've made a HUGE goal for myself, I'm determined to accomplish it and I'm NEVER turning back! :-)

My goal is to lose 52lbs in a year! For some of you, that may sound pretty easy, but I didn't want to make an unrealistic goal for myself SOOO hopefully by next July I will be rocking a size 8/10 and be 150lbs :-) I figured I will hit my fair share of walls and hard times so a pound a week seemed like the perfect average for me. Let's face it, being a Mom doesn't always allow you to eat the foods you want for a diet when you're in a hurry to get out the door and it's better to eat a Cheeto then nothing at all! LOL! Am I right?!

While I'm on my quest to achieving this goal, I've decided that I'm going to put all my cards on the table, wear my emotions on my sleeve (for those of you that know me, go ahead and giggle - I know I pretty much already do this lol) and hold NOTHING back. There will be times where I will be showing my vulnerability to you all, and I want to do these things because I want to be as honest to myself as much as possible and I want your help! I need all the support I can get and sometimes by allowing myself not to keep it all in and having someone to listen to me is what helps me so much. Are you with me?!

So, days 1, 2 and 3 are in the bag and I OWNED them! LOL! I'm already down three pounds and getting used to this new lifestyle change. I'm definitely one of those people that would willingly eat themselves sick on their favorite foods and I had no control. Not only that, I swear you could put me right up there with competitive eaters because basically every meal I'd shovel my food like some one's going to take it away from me! It's definitely been my biggest challenge yet by focusing more on my portion sizes and eating a lot slower. So far, so good though, I think I can get used to it.

Last night Derek and I took Miss K out for a 2 mile walk and I felt amazing after it! I for SURE thought that I was going to be pretty dang sore this morning because I haven't hiked up hills like that in, God only knows how long it's been, and I also did it at a very brisk pace....and I woke up this morning feeling GREAT! I don't just want to dive into something hardcore and kill myself so for a month or so (to see how I feel) I will be walking 2+ miles every other day and doing Biggest Loser workouts in between those days. I'm excited to see the results! Once I get comfortable I will be "kicking it up a notch"! (Thanks for that one Emeril).

On our walk yesterday! :-)

Thank you all so much for following me on my big endeavor! Lots of encouragement is needed ;-)

Bittersweet...

From June 17th-July 11th we were lucky enough to be able to visit our families for THREE WEEKS!! I can't even remember the last time we were able to visit for that long and the best part was the my husband was able to join us for all of that time expect for 4 days when he had to travel back home to work. Usually it's just me and Miss K that make the trip over to visit family since I'm a stay at home Mom and it's more convenient for her and I to travel so Derek can stay behind to work...and now that we're back to reality...it seems to make our trip so bittersweet :-(

For some reason this trip was SO amazing and just so much fun! We spent the first week of our trip with my In-laws which was a big deal because that's the first time we've stayed with them for more than 2 consecutive nights. We had so much fun and it was just SOOO relaxing which is just what Derek and I needed. We got to enjoy our parents company and catch up on some movies and video games...awesome-ness! :-) But since Derek's parents had a huge trip planned for the last 2 weeks of our visit we didn't get to see them until our last weekend for a family wedding. The remainder of the time we stayed at my parents house and had a lot of fun!  Miss K just FREAKS OUT every time she see's my Dad's horse and mules. My brother also has a chocolate lab, Gauge, that is just her bestest friend forever! She follows him EVERYWHERE!!! She even learned how to say his name while we were visiting haha. It's the cutest thing ever. We call him "Gaugey" so that's the word she learned. Here they are...two peas in a pod begging for food from Daddy...

Speaking of learning things, I feel like that during our trip...she just EXPLODED socially and learned so much while we were there. She learned how to say "hi" and wave while she did it and same with "bye", "Gaugey", "nice" - she learned this because every time she would pet the dog she would hit him...so we would tell her "nice touches" and just only kept saying nice, "yes" and nod her head, "what's that?" and she'll point to something, and the list goes one but we're SUCH proud parents. She's just soaking everything in and it's just so cool to watch! Her "talking" has become more advanced, she's learning a ton of new syllables to chatter with and she'll read herself stories. It's awesome! :-)

But now that we're back home and trying to get into the swing of things, I'm finding it hard to keep up with our place because while we were there for our visit, we went to our cousin's wedding (baby free) and I got to take some of the most amazing pictures!! For those of you that know, taking pictures is one of my big hobbies and I just LOVED our cousin's wedding! Here are just a few of the moments I captured...

I've been editing them like crazy since I've been back so the house work has been slipping a little LOL! Can you blame me?! This is probably my biggest accomplishment yet. I'm still learning SO MUCH with photoshop and to be able to bust out the resulting imagine...made my week! (TOP - before, BOTTOM - after)

This was one of the flower girls that became bored during the ceremony so she sat down and started playing with the flower petals to laid out earlier hahaha.

Aside from getting back into the swing of things and editing a ton of photos...my husband and I have been heavily talking about when we wanted to have baby #2. We're somewhat in between a rock and a hard place with this decision because Derek will be finished with school a year from December and after he finishes we will be looking to move back over with our families. The dilemma...we don't want our babies more than 3 years apart but were hoping for an age difference of 2 to 2.5 years....so....do we go for baby #2 while we still live here and know we guaranteed insurance for delivery, or wait until we move there and potentially have to surpass the 3 year age difference depending on when we get insurance again? I've been told that there's state insurance/aid but I don't know ANYTHING about it and it kind of intimidates me to figure it out haha. I'm a scaredy cat, what can I say? I keep making jokes about how everyone says having their first baby is the hardest decision...I have to disagree just a little...HANDS DOWN, planning when to have a 2nd or even 3rd is WAY harder! LOL! At least for us it is ;-) Any of you have thoughts on this?? I'd LOVE to hear some thoughts or input!

I did, however, get to thinking about what I would need to do to get myself ready for baby #2. Thankfully, I didn't gain any weight during my pregnancy with Miss K, I actually lost 20lbs. I would really really really LOVE to get to my goal weight by the time I get pregnant again (it's definitely not a deal breaker if I don't get there...but I want to shoot for it) and I figure that I could get to my goal weight, safely and in the most healthy way, in about a year. I currently weight 204lbs (OMG YES, I just told you my weight LOLlol) yesterday and I have high hopes for this go around. Derek said that most perfect thing to me (which he seems to always do haha) and he says, "you don't NEED to lose this weight because I love you the way you are, but if you do get to your goal in the time frame you set, we'll be having baby #2 no matter where we're at or what we're doing, we'll make it work. It's the least we can do to reward you for all your hard work and struggles!". Oh yeah, you guessed it...I balled like a kid that was told they couldn't get the candy bar they wanted in the grocery store! LOL! He is just the BEST!

So, there's my little update. It's been a really long time since I've posted and I'm hoping to get back to blogging on a semi-regular basis!! LOL!

Hope you all are having an amazing summer!

Love tons!