"IF ONLY"

Hello All! :-)

Saw this link posted on my friend's Facebook page and it is a MUST share! I think anyone who is married or engaged, even if none of the things mentioned apply to you or your spouse, you should take the time to read this, it's short and sweet and very much to the point.

"There are so many things that your marriage can survive. You marriage can survive miscommunication. Your marriage can survive busy schedules. Your marriage can overcome conflict with your in-laws. Your marriage can get through sexual brokenness and unforgiveness. But, there are two words that will eventually bring an end to your marriage…if not legally then definitely emotionally.

The two words are…

…IF ONLY…

If only my wife had sex with me more often
If only my husband looked at me like my boss does
If only we had kids
If only we made more money
If only we lived in a bigger house
If only we would have dated longer
If only she took care of herself like the lady at the gym
If only my high school boyfriend and I would have stayed together
If only we hadn’t had kids so young
If only she understood me
If only he listened to me
If only I knew we were soul mates
If only she cooked more or better
If only he could do things around the house

If only causes you to focus on what isn’t rather than on what is. If only allows your mind to fantasize about someone that isn’t your spouse. If only believes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. If only paralyzes us in the pursuit of our spouse and convinces us that a perfect marriage is competently up to the other person. If only will slowly destroy intimacy and leave you in a place of resentment. If only will trick you into believing that the best days of your marriage are behind you and and not ahead of you.

The best thing you can do for your marriage today is remove “if only” from your mind and heart.

You can’t change the past, but you can prevent the past from destroying your future.

Do you struggle with the thought of “if only”?"

To go to the blog of the couple that wrote this post...here is the direct link to the post I just shared...

http://refineus.org/2011/08/2-words/

I'd have to say that I completely agree with this post. Not only can a marriage not tolerate those two words for too long, but individuals alone will eventually begin to fall apart constantly thinking "if only I'd done this or if only I'd done that". I'm often saddened by listening to people (including MYSELF) constantly think about the what ifs and the if onlys instead of focusing on what they have right in front of them. Thankfully, I've become a lot better with doing that to myself. When I was younger, especially in high school, "what if" and "if only" seemed to be making an appearance in vocabulary often, as well as a couple years into my college years, before I started to shape up and realize that I was deserving of everything that I had and that everything happened to me for a reason. I still believe that to my core today. I hope that everyone can see the good in everything that they have right in front of them. I honestly feel that life would be SO boring if we had everything we ever wanted...then was is there to work for?! ;-) I kind of strayed a little off topic, lol, sometimes I just can't help it ;-)

What are your thoughts on this? Please feel free to share! :-) This is a NO JUDGEMENT environment, so please respect that others have different thoughts and opinions to share.

THANKS YOU GUYS! :-) Looking forward to hearing what all your thoughts are :-)