My New Full Time Job...

The first few nights with Kaelyn were as expected, she woke up every 2-3 hours to eat, Mom fought her eyelids for 2-3 hours haha. By day 3, the sleep deprivation was AWFUL! I have NO idea what I would've done if my Mom wasn't there when Derek had to go back to work. There were a couple times where I was completely terrified of falling asleep while I was feeding Kaelyn and lose her off my lap (I never did though haha).

The newest challenge that I was facing was getting breastfeeding down...wow...it was one of the most challenging things I ever had to learn. Thank goodness it only took her a week to get it down. (Mom was VERY thankful for this!) I never could figure out why it takes 3-5 days for milk to come in but all I know, is that when mine didn't come in until DAY 5 I had at least one emotional breakdown. It was tough trying to learn this skill that was VITAL for the well being of my daughter while trying to get her to learn at the same time. MY HERO'S - The Lactation Consultants at Sacred Heart! My Mom and I LIVED there the first couple of weeks because they helped me keep my sanity and my hope up. When we finally got Kaelyn to eat right...we ended up hitting another brick wall...

When Kaelyn was almost 1.5 months old she became fussier than normal (yes, I know babies are fussy to begin with haha). Something just didn't feel right. At this point I noticed that the fontanelle (the soft spot on the top of her head) was a little more sunken in then normal but not extremely sunken. I called the pediatrician and told him my concerns, he asked if she was having regular diapers (yes), fever (no), eating every 2-3 hours (yes), and alert after eating (yes). He said she sounded find and that there wasn't any red flags to have me bring her in. Being stubborn...that answer wasn't good enough for me so I called the lactation office to schedule a free baby weight check. We got in, they took us to the room, the nurse weighed Kaelyn, handed her back to me and left the room without saying a word to me. Of course I went into complete panic mode.

*A little side story...when Kaelyn was born, she weighed 7 lbs 7oz but by the time we left the hospital she weighed 6 lbs 11 oz (which is normal for babies to lose weigh after they're born). While we were working on breastfeeding she was gaining weight. The last time she was weighed she weighed 7 lbs 1 oz*

The nurse came back in with the head lactation consultant who looked me in the eye and said "Kiddo, it's not good. There's no easy way to tell you this but Kaelyn only weighs 7 lbs 4 oz. She's still 3 oz under her birth weight and she's almost 2 months old. She should have been back at her birth weight 2 weeks after she was born. So she starved, malnourished and dehydrated." It took everything I was to hold it together as they tried to explain to me what the game plan was. She said that we were 2 seconds from being sent to the hospital but they wanted to try something first. It was a Friday when I went in. We came to realize that my milk supply was nothing. By the time Kaelyn got eating figured out, I was almost completely out of milk. SO, they said that over the weekend, Kaelyn had to eat formula religiously every 3 hours and when I came back in on Monday, she needed to have gained 3 oz, otherwise it was the emergency room for us!

During all this my Mom came over to help us out while Derek went to work. A GODSEND! There was NO way I was going to be able to hold it together emotionally and do this on my own.

We showed up on Monday. They put her on the scale...my Mom and I held our breath...and 7 lbs 14 oz flashed on the scale!!!!! My Mom laughed with excitement, I started balling...she didn't just gain 3 oz, she gained 10 oz!! What a good little over achiever.

The lactation specialists said that it was possible to get my supply back up, but there was a drug I had to take in order to do that but they also said that there was a 50% chance that I would get depression as a side effect. There was no way I was going to take it because I was already an emotional mess so I decided to just stick to formula and Kaelyn has been thriving since. In the beginning I felt VERY guilty about not sticking with breastfeeding but Kaelyn's rapid growth and health was way more important to me.

So for those of you that knew about this as it was happening and prayed for us...you have NO idea how much we appreciated it!

And then there were 3!

No one in the ENTIRE world could've fully prepared me for what I was about to experience with labor and delivery and being a new Mom! As you grow up, you only hear about the wonderful, sugar coated things about pregnancy, labor, and motherhood. What no one bothers to tell woman thinking about having children is that pregnancy is going to put your body through the ultimate physical test as it expands in places you never thought possible (and depending on some woman...it could be utter hell), or how the hormones are really going to test you and your relationship with your partner, or that morning sickness lasts up to 3 months and lasts 24 hours a day/7 days a week - not just in the morning. They also neglect to mention all the poking and prodding you'll go through once you get to the hospital to deliver, or the insane roller coaster of emotions you go through during labor and delivery, or that once the baby is here, your wants and needs become last and may never be met for some time, or how breastfeeding will be one of the most challenging things you ever take on in your life! (Whoever thinks breastfeeding comes naturally, doesn't have kids!)

HOWEVER, I have come to believe and experience that the reason you don't hear about all these unpleasant things is because the second that little babe is put into your arms...all of the stuff above...doesn't even matter, because that little bundle of joy is worth EVERY SINGLE hardship or bump in the road!

Since I had NO idea what I was about to go through I think I read every single pregnancy/labor and delivery book out there to educate myself and to learn what to expect. Someone once told me "education = empowerment". That was probably THE best advice I ever got. We were fortunate to have no unexpected surprises!

So, here's Kaelyn's little story...

As my due date (April 29th, 2010) got closer, Derek and I went back and forth whether or not we wanted to let Kaelyn come on her own or to have me induced because we had so many family members waiting for the call to start traveling 5 and a half hours over this way. We had our final doctor's appointment on April 27th to check my progress and talk about options. We ended up deciding to go forward with an induction on May 1st, even though we really wanted to see if she'd come on her own. It was nice for everyone because it was going to happen on a Friday so no one had to miss work to come (which wasn't a big deal in the first place, but still nice).

We checked into the hospital at 10pm on April 30th and were told that I would start pitocin at 11:30am the next morning to get labor going. Well, I ended up going into active labor on my own at 4:30am with contractions that started hard and fast! They began at 2-3 minutes apart lasting for 30-45 seconds a piece. I labored drug-free until about 11:30am when they wanted to start the pitocin to help progress my labor even more. My plan during labor was to try to avoid getting an epidural, but what I wasn't prepared for was the INSANE back labor that I developed. It was so intense that I couldn't even look at my bed without cringing because the thought of having to lay in it during a contraction was horrible! What I didn't know...is that when you get pitocin, your stuck to your bed because they have to monitor your blood pressure every 15 minutes and keep track of the baby's heartbeat to see if you both take the pitocin well. I didn't hesitate to scream for that epidural because there was NO WAY I could handle laboring on that bed without the fear of being SO exhausted at the end that I couldn't get Kaelyn out on my own. Besides, my ultimate goal going into this was "healthy mom, healthy baby, however it has to happen!"

I ended up getting stuck at 4 cm for 3 hours when it's ideal for you to gain a centimeter per hour. If it wasn't for my AMAZING nurse doing everything she possibly knew to get me past that "hump", I would probably have a huge scar to look at everyday. When she got me past my 4 cm "hump" I dilated to 10 cm in 2 hours! HAHA! I'll never forget the surprised look on the nurse's face when she checked me.

When I started pushing, I expected to push for almost 2 hours since that was the "average" for first time mothers. I, luckily, only pushed for 45 minutes because I was determined to see her! I was in the middle of a push with my eyes closed (since I had an epidural I couldn't feel anything) and out of no where I felt something get thrown onto my chest. There she was! Our little girl, covered in slime and wiggling like crazy! You go through so many emotions in those first 5 seconds after they plop her on you....exhaustion, nervousness, excitement, love, fear, and accomplishment. Everything happened so fast. The nurses had to take her away quickly because she wasn't breathing on her own. Derek followed her over to the warming table...and the next thing I know, the doctor is yelling for the nurse to get over to me because she may need to start pumping me full of drugs...I was starting to bleed out and the bleeding was showing no signs of stopping. What I know, is that I NEVER want to experience the look I saw on Derek's face EVER again. There he was, over with Kaelyn because they were still trying to get her to breathe right and then all of a sudden he was hearing that his wife was bleeding out and it wasn't stopping. He had no idea where he should be and the look on his face was of shear terror. THANKFULLY, my placenta came out faster than normal and it stopped the bleeding. It was definitely a crappy moment.

After laboring for 14 hours, Kaelyn finally showed up at 6:23pm on May 1st! She weighed 7 lbs 7 oz and was 20.5 inches in length.

The product of 9 months of hard work :-)

Even though I was SO drained...I couldn't stop smiling!

 

VERY proud Daddy!

 What was even more special was that our families were there to meet her when she came. I never felt so much joy watching everyone hold her for the first time. It something you'll never forget.

I honestly can say that I would have another baby tomorrow! I was blessed with an amazing pregnancy and labor and delivery experience. Of course, we'll be waiting a little while before we start thinking of baby #2! haha!
 

I took the plunge...

The blogging plunge, that is. It took me a long time to warm up to the idea of blogging because I kept thinking...who would even want to read what I have to write about?! BUT, to my greatest surprise, there are actually quite a few people that said they would love to hear what I had to say/write about being a new, stay and home Mom, so I figured...what the hell, why not create a blog?! So, here it is, hope you enjoy reading it as much as I love writing it!