My New Full Time Job...

The first few nights with Kaelyn were as expected, she woke up every 2-3 hours to eat, Mom fought her eyelids for 2-3 hours haha. By day 3, the sleep deprivation was AWFUL! I have NO idea what I would've done if my Mom wasn't there when Derek had to go back to work. There were a couple times where I was completely terrified of falling asleep while I was feeding Kaelyn and lose her off my lap (I never did though haha).

The newest challenge that I was facing was getting breastfeeding down...wow...it was one of the most challenging things I ever had to learn. Thank goodness it only took her a week to get it down. (Mom was VERY thankful for this!) I never could figure out why it takes 3-5 days for milk to come in but all I know, is that when mine didn't come in until DAY 5 I had at least one emotional breakdown. It was tough trying to learn this skill that was VITAL for the well being of my daughter while trying to get her to learn at the same time. MY HERO'S - The Lactation Consultants at Sacred Heart! My Mom and I LIVED there the first couple of weeks because they helped me keep my sanity and my hope up. When we finally got Kaelyn to eat right...we ended up hitting another brick wall...

When Kaelyn was almost 1.5 months old she became fussier than normal (yes, I know babies are fussy to begin with haha). Something just didn't feel right. At this point I noticed that the fontanelle (the soft spot on the top of her head) was a little more sunken in then normal but not extremely sunken. I called the pediatrician and told him my concerns, he asked if she was having regular diapers (yes), fever (no), eating every 2-3 hours (yes), and alert after eating (yes). He said she sounded find and that there wasn't any red flags to have me bring her in. Being stubborn...that answer wasn't good enough for me so I called the lactation office to schedule a free baby weight check. We got in, they took us to the room, the nurse weighed Kaelyn, handed her back to me and left the room without saying a word to me. Of course I went into complete panic mode.

*A little side story...when Kaelyn was born, she weighed 7 lbs 7oz but by the time we left the hospital she weighed 6 lbs 11 oz (which is normal for babies to lose weigh after they're born). While we were working on breastfeeding she was gaining weight. The last time she was weighed she weighed 7 lbs 1 oz*

The nurse came back in with the head lactation consultant who looked me in the eye and said "Kiddo, it's not good. There's no easy way to tell you this but Kaelyn only weighs 7 lbs 4 oz. She's still 3 oz under her birth weight and she's almost 2 months old. She should have been back at her birth weight 2 weeks after she was born. So she starved, malnourished and dehydrated." It took everything I was to hold it together as they tried to explain to me what the game plan was. She said that we were 2 seconds from being sent to the hospital but they wanted to try something first. It was a Friday when I went in. We came to realize that my milk supply was nothing. By the time Kaelyn got eating figured out, I was almost completely out of milk. SO, they said that over the weekend, Kaelyn had to eat formula religiously every 3 hours and when I came back in on Monday, she needed to have gained 3 oz, otherwise it was the emergency room for us!

During all this my Mom came over to help us out while Derek went to work. A GODSEND! There was NO way I was going to be able to hold it together emotionally and do this on my own.

We showed up on Monday. They put her on the scale...my Mom and I held our breath...and 7 lbs 14 oz flashed on the scale!!!!! My Mom laughed with excitement, I started balling...she didn't just gain 3 oz, she gained 10 oz!! What a good little over achiever.

The lactation specialists said that it was possible to get my supply back up, but there was a drug I had to take in order to do that but they also said that there was a 50% chance that I would get depression as a side effect. There was no way I was going to take it because I was already an emotional mess so I decided to just stick to formula and Kaelyn has been thriving since. In the beginning I felt VERY guilty about not sticking with breastfeeding but Kaelyn's rapid growth and health was way more important to me.

So for those of you that knew about this as it was happening and prayed for us...you have NO idea how much we appreciated it!